Total Annihilation
by Daily Prophet
Summary: Zim asks the Tallest for an accomplice, and they send him the insane Courtney. Zim thinks he likes Courtney, but then...strange stuff happens. Dib gets angry. Tak is angry. Gaz is angry. Zim is confused. Gir wants a taco. FINISHED
1. The Request

-Perfect Annihilation-  
  
Note: I don't own any of the Invader Zim characters! All I own is a pencil, some paper, and a computer. Although you are welcome to borrow the pencil, but you gotta give it back if you want the next update!  
  
cortocircuito = short in Spanish  
  
*****  
  
an·ni·hi·la·tion  
  
-The act or process of annihilating.  
  
-The condition of having been annihilated; utter destruction.  
  
Zim sighed. Annihilation. Something he would never get to do to the human race as long as he kept this up. His plans always backfired and his SIR, was GIR. Gir, who's extreme love of tacos, pigs, chicken, and other various objects was driving him insane. Then there was Dib, who lived to see Zim on a disecting table. Not to mention the other humanoids who just loved tormenting him with their filthy....filth. Zim turned around in his rolly-chair and called the Tallest. Purple came on the screen, he was doing some weird dance, while Red was eating nachos.   
  
"Um, mighty tallest?" Zim asked.  
  
"Wh-what? Oh no, Zim what do YOU want?" asked Purple, who had stopped dancing.  
  
"Yeah Zim. Haven't you taken over...what was the name of the planet again?" Red asked.   
  
"Earth." Zim replied.  
  
"Yes. Earth." Red shuddered. "Creepy. Anyways, haven't you taken it over yet?"   
  
"Not yet, oh great Tallest. I was thinking..." Zim started.  
  
"Oh, and don't we love it when you think, Zim." Purple said sarcastically.   
  
"I hope so my Tallest. Well, I was thinking, maybe I need more manpower down here on Earth." Zim said quietly.  
  
"Did my ears decieve me? Did the almighty Zim actually ask for help? I must be dreaming. Did you hear it Red, or am I going crazy?" Purple shouted.  
  
"I think he did Purple! Oh, this is something to remember. Where's the video camera?" Red asked.  
  
Purple and Red laughed. They continued laughing until Red started choking on a nacho.   
  
"We're going to have to discuss that one Zim." Purple told him, choking back tears of laughter.  
  
"We'll have our people call your people Zim." Red said.   
  
Purple disconnected Zim and turned to Red. He had an arched eyebrow, and seemed to be pondering something.  
  
"Let's send him someone!" Red exclaimed.   
  
"An insane someone!" Purple shouted.  
  
"An insane GIRL someone!" Red exclaimed, jumping out of his chair with excitement.  
  
"Oooo, good one Red!" Purple commented. "How about that insane girl we banished to Food Courtia a few months after Zim?"  
  
"Oh! Oh! What was her name again?" Red asked.  
  
"Cortocircuito. Also known as Invader Courtney." Purple said with disgust.  
  
  
  
"Yes! That's her! Call Zim! Tell him we got a "prize" Invader for him" Red said, stifling a giggle.  
  
Purple connected to Earth, and got Zim on the line. Zim's gigantic head swiveled around on the screen with a nervous look on his face. Purple glanced at Red and saw that he was eager to give Zim the news.  
  
"Red!" Purple whispered. "You can tell him."   
  
Red's eyes thanked him and he turned to Zim with a gleeful smile on his face.  
  
"Well, Zim. We have selected an Invader to help you with your mission. Her name is Invader Courtney. She's a prize Invader on planet Gumdrop, home of giant candy." He paused here and looked towards Zim. Zim looked inevitibaly happy. "She should arrive within two weeks."   
  
"Yes. It's a shame we would have to let her go, she's been a wonderful Invader. Along with her we will be sending some of the best weapons in Irken technology." Purple said.  
  
"Oh thank you my Tallest! Earth's defeat will be a victory for all Invaders!" Zim cried. And standing up in his rolly chair he started yelling. "Earth will be MIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!" He screamed and fell out of his chair. "I'm alright." He said. And the Tallest disconnected from Earth.  
  
"Oh that was sweet!" Red yelled.  
  
"That it was." Purple agreed. "Let's call up our Head Guy at Food Courtia and tell him to send Invader Courtney to Earth. All expenses will be payed for by Invader Zim, of course."   
  
"Yeah, I'll connect him." Red exclaimed.  
  
An Irken Invader's head came up on the screen and looked slightly nervous. "Yes m-my Tallest? You request something?" He asked anxiously.  
  
"Yes, Invader Nog, we have a proposition for you, over there on Food Courtia."  
  
*****  
  
A/N: Well, I hoped ya'll like it! Please review this! This was my first Invader Zim FanFic. Uh....I think it's pretty good.   
  
~Poof 


	2. The Door

-Perfect Annihilation-  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Invader Zim or any of its affiliates. All I own now is a pencil, some paper, a computer, and Invader Courtney! (^_^)  
  
[A/N:] YAY! I got a review!! [Go Me! Go Me!] I've been alternating between stories and I didn't think I'd have time to do all 3. But I have! YAY! I'm so happy I could sing the "Doom Song". Although I'm not, [much to the dismay of Gir!] but we are meeting Invader Courtney. This should be fun....[Evil Grin] Hey! I don't know what I'm going to type either! I'm just letting this go on my own. [Hehehe!] Well, read & review!  
  
~Poof  
  
*****  
  
[3 Weeks Later]  
  
"GIIIIIIIIIIR!!!" Zim screamed. "What have you done!?! I had this....place...actually CLEAN!!!!!"  
  
"Yeah, well. Pig didn't like it. Plus, I got Courtney some tacos!" Gir replied.  
  
Zim looked around the labarotary he had just cleaned. It was now spotted with mud, dirt, chicken bones, and stuffed pigs. Gir was in the middle beside a giant bag of tacos, with grease seeping through the paper bag.   
  
"Gir! Please this up....NOW!" He yelled.  
  
"Yes sir, Master sir." Gir said, salluting at Zim.  
  
Then the doorbell rang. Zim's head snapped up. "Gir! Put your costume on! Now!"   
  
Zim got into the elevator/toilet thing and zoomed up to the kitchen. He zoomed out of the kitchen and ran to the door. He slammed the door open and saw a mysterious looking person standing in front him. They were wearing a trench coat, and a hat that covered their face.  
  
"Courtney?" asked Zim in a confused voice.  
  
"Courtney?!" asked a annoyed MALE voice. A hand went up and pulled the hat back. Dib stood staring at Zim.   
  
"Since when have I become a girl Zim?  
  
"What are you doing here?" Zim asked acidly.  
  
"Well, professional alien hunters, they wear this stuff. I figured that if I wore this outfit, it'll help me plan my latest plot against you." Dib said excitedly.  
  
Zim stared at him. Then he went up to Dib and snatched off his trenchcoat and hat.   
  
"It's not a good plot if you tell me about, stupid human." And Zim walked inside the house and slammed the door.  
  
"Hey! That cost $20!" Dib yelled.  
  
Zim went and threw himself on the couch. "GIR! I have a new toy for you to play with."  
  
"Oooo! Coat....." Gir snatched the coat and placed it over him. Then he started running around in little circles.  
  
"Gir, PLEASE try not to make a mess. Invader Courtney should be here any minute now. Hand me the remote control."  
  
Gir obediantly handed the control to Zim. Zim flipped through the channels, looking for something to watch on the opiate of the massives. He was just starting to get into The Angry Money show, when the doorbell rang.  
  
"I'll GET IT!" shrieked Gir.  
  
"NOOOOO GIR don't!" Zim yelled.  
  
[Insert Slow Motion Scene]  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zim yelled, lunging at the door.  
  
"I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it!" Gir was singing, as he skipped towards the door.  
  
[Stop Slow Motion Scene]  
  
BAM!  
  
Zim crashed into the wall beside the door while Gir opened it.  
  
"Hi! Welcome to Zim's house!" Gir said.  
  
Outside the door stood an Irken alien, with bright blue eyes. She had a hood over her so no one would see her antennas.   
  
"Hi. I'm Invader Courtney."  
  
*****  
  
[A/N:] I thought this was a wonderful spot to stop at. [Wink Wink] I've got to go....[eek eek] wash clothes. Um, I'll probably add another chapter today, but who knows! I've got to work on my other stories too y'know. 


	3. The Invader

Disclaimer: Do I really need to keep saying it? [Inward Sigh] I don't own any of the characters. Writing fanfiction is only a hobby and if I did own Invader Zim, I would sic The Angry Monkey on you if you didn't review. But, alas, I don't own it.  
  
[A/N:] In response to a review from Maniacal Dragon, I'd like to say that Invader Courtney only said one line. (^_^) How insane can you act while introducing yourself? LOL, but you will see a lot more of her insanity in this chapter. [Glowers with excitement] And yes Maniacal Dragon, sending malfunctioning SIRs did cross my mind. :-)  
  
*****  
  
Gir stood in his little dog suit staring at her. Then he went up to her and handed a soppy, greasy taco.   
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Courtney screamed. "TACOOOOOOOOOOO!" and with that she flung the taco as hard as she could and it whacked Zim upside the head.  
  
"OW!" Then he got a glimpse of Courtney. Recognition clicked in his oblong head. "No. No..the Tallest must have made a mistake. Not you. ANYONE BUT YOU!" He remembered her from Invader Acadamey. She was crazy. Really crazy. When she made a 99 on the Invader Test, she screamed and lunged herself at the teacher, bashing him with a pencil and some other object. Why, oh why, did the Tallest send him this....this...monstrosity of the Irken race? 'Maybe they don't like me?' Zim thought. 'Nah, that's crazy. I'm one of their favorite Invaders.' He dismissed the idea completely.  
  
"Zimmy!" She screeched jumping on the couch. "I missed you! They said you were on Food Courtia then you left to come here! I was on Food Courtia too!" Then she pouted. "How come you never looked me up Zimmy?"  
  
"Don't call me that!" Zim yelled. He shuddered, the name sickened him to no end. "I have to call the Tallest. They made a mistake." He started pacing the floor.  
  
"Yeah, the made a mistake by sending Zimmy to this filthy planet. It screams to be destroyed."   
  
Zim stopped. "Do you really think so?" he asked.  
  
"Sure! I mean, I hate The Angry Monkey show. It disgusts me."  
  
"So do I!"  
  
Zim looked at Courtney, maybe she wouldn't be so bad after all.  
  
CRASH!  
  
Ok, maybe not.  
  
Courtney and Gir were throwing a stuffed pig around. Then the doorbell rang.   
  
"Courtney!" Zim hissed. "HIDE! WE CAN'T LET THE HUMANS KNOW YOU ARE HERE!"  
  
Gir picked up Courtney and slammed her under the couch. "That good Master?"  
  
Zim made sure his "disguise" was on and opened the door. There stood a surley looking police officer eating a doughnut. His badge said "Milton Thomas".   
  
"Good evening superior officer of the law. How may I assist you?" Zim asked.  
  
"Uh, well, the neighbors, they thought they heard some screamin' and loud noises. I just came over here to make sure everything was alright." Officer Milton said.  
  
"Oh, everything is fine Officer, my dog is just um, very sick. He was howling in pain." He said with false sadness.  
  
"Well, I'll be in the neighbor hood, so you just holler if you need something." And with that, Officer Milton walked off towards the doughnut shop.  
  
"Phew. That was close, huh Gir? Gir? Gir? GIR!!" He looked around and saw him and Courtney smashing pots and stuff in the kitchen.  
  
"I HAVE GOT TO CALL THE TALLEST!" Zim screamed at the sky.  
  
*****  
  
[A/N:] Well the much anticiapated, Chapter 3 is done! Onward noble steed! :-) Review please. Pretty please? With sugar on top? 


	4. The Commercial Break

Author's Note I:  
  
UGH! I'm not even that far into the story!!! (Slaps self upside the forehead!) I deeply apologize, but due to the fact that I have another idea brewing in my head. I putting this one on pause! I just don't have that many ideas for this one yet. I'm sure if people y'know, reviewed me more, I could put something...but y'know, I ain't the fountain of ideas.  
  
I'll probably have something tomorrow! I just don't feel like doing anything today, because I'm so daggone lazy! Does anyone have any ideas for what Courtney should be like? Personality wise, I mean. Hit me up on it!  
  
Um, IM me @ teenishvixen89 if u wanna contact me! Uh......later.  
  
~Poof~ 


	5. The Plan

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, although I own Invader Courtney. And the idea for this chapter came from Invader Nicole. Let's give her a round of applause! *Clap Clap Clap*   
  
[A/N: I haven't updated any of my stories in a while, but it's not my fault!! My chapters won't upload! *Cry...sob* But I have been getting reviews! ^_^ YAY! Woo! Alright! Now, I got this idea from Nicole (ruben827@cs.com) so ya'll can thank her, huh? I'd also like to thank Invader Meow! LOL...so....yeah. On with ZIM!]  
  
*****  
  
"What do you mean you won't take her back?" Zim cried. He had called the Tallest in a futile attempt for them to take Courtney back. However, they just said 'No.'  
  
"You wanted help!" Red said, playing paddleball.   
  
"Yeah! We sent it." Purple replied, also playing paddleball.  
  
"But I meant someone useful! Not someone who'd try to kill me with a taco!" Zim pleaded.  
  
"Oh ZIMMY?" Courtney cried from the kitchen, "Gir's head is stuck in the toilet."   
  
Zim sighed heavily. "D'you see what I mean? Please mighty Tallest? Please?!"  
  
"No Zim. Later!" Red cried.  
  
"Yeah, we're going to the hot tubs!" Purple replied.  
  
CLICK! The screen cut off and Zim was still stuck with Courtney. He walked to the toilet to see Gir's lower body, flailing and kicking, sticking out.  
  
"Hi master!" Gir shrieked, his voice echoey from inside the toilet.  
  
"C'mon Courtney, we've gotta get you a disguise." Zim said monotonelessly.  
  
"Neat..." Courtney replied in an awed voice. Zim pressed a button and Gir popped out of the toilet.  
  
Zim grabbed Courtney by the arm and pulled her down to the lab, where she would be fitted for a disguise among the human...stink-beasts.  
  
"Computer!" Zim commanded. "Fit Invader...Courtney for a costume. I need to make up a plan of what to do with her."  
  
A robotic arm snactched up Courtney and placed her inside a mechanical box. Zim heard her annoying cries of excitement and tried to block them out.   
  
"GIR! Get down here. We need to think of what to do with Courtney." Zim shuddered. "The Tallest won't take her back, so we've got to plan something..." Zim stared off into space, while Gir mindlessly played with a stuffed moose.  
  
"I saw the big-headed boy today, Master." Gir said. "Yup, he was wearing a spy-outfit outside the door. He told me not to tell you."  
  
"Wha? Dib? Outside the base!? GIR! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?" Zim bellowed.  
  
"Well, you and Courtney were playing tag with the tacos, and it looked like you were having fun. I didn't want to bother you." Gir replied nonchalantly.  
  
"I wasn't having fun." Zim shuddered. "How dare you suggest I was having fun with that pathetic excuse for an Invader. The Tallest probably sent her down here for me to teach her how a REAL Invader acts."   
  
"So..." A voice slithered. "You have another plan to take over Earth. I've got proof this time." There was a flash of light. Zim looked to the toilet opening above him and saw Dib taking pictures with a very nice looking camera.   
  
"DIB!" Zim screamed. "Don't you know you are trespassing? GET OUT!"  
  
"Sure. But lemme get a picture of the android first." Dib replied. He started randomly clicking pictures of the lower level of Zim's lab.   
  
Zim smiled to himself. "Computer! Escort the Dib-beast to the door!" He commanded. He then chuckled. Dib wasn't going to have any pictures. He was sure of that.  
  
A robotic arm extended out of the wall and grabbed Dib around the waist. It pulled him through the chimney and dropped him outside the door of the base. Dib stood up and dusted himself off, looking for the robotic arm. He didn't see it, and so, taking a chance. Ran back to his house.  
  
"Heheheh, puny human. How dare he try to undermine me with his pathetic human technology." Zim muttered arrogantly. He turned around in his rolly chair to his computer. "Computer! Show me the hard drive for that camera." The imagery of the insides of a camera popped up. "Show me the pictures he has taken." The screen showed pictures of Zim, Zim's lab, Gir, and a girl with a GS2 in her hand. "Delete all of these except for the Gaz worm and replace them with pictures of Gir's moose." Instantly pictures of a moose replaced all pictures related to Zim. "We're done computer!" Zim said and turned around in rolly chair.  
  
"I'm done." Courtney said in a sing-song voice.  
  
"Really?" Zim replied turning around in his rolly chair. "Whoa--" He stared at Courtney. The computer had outdone it's self. Courtney looked exactly like a stink-beast. She had long black pigtails, black eyes, and she was wearing a star in the middle of her shirt. "You look more convincing then Tak did!" Zim exclaimed.   
  
"Tak?" Courtney's voice went from shrillness to anger. "Tak was here on Earth? That slimy pathetic excuse for an Irken invader? The Tallest sent her?!"  
  
"Looks like someone is a little jealous!" Zim said.   
  
"Am not."  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"Am not! Hey! You tricked me!" Courtney said angrily.  
  
"No matter Courtney. The plan is, you are going to befriend Dib, this hideous stink beast who has been causing me problems. You are going to be his downfall, do you understand me?"  
  
"Yes Commander!" Courtney salluted.  
  
"Commander Zim....I like the sound of that!"   
  
*****  
  
Wahhh! My computer was messing up and I couldn't upload anything for three whole days! That sucks! Anyways, here's chapter 5. 


	6. The Skool

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em..  
  
A/N: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WHHEEEEEEEEEE! I'm spinnin' in my rolly chair! WOOOO! *Coughs, then regains composure* I've been added to someone's fave story list. I feel loved. Aw. Anyways. Go here:  
  
http://www.petitiononline.com/izlovers/petition.html  
  
To sign the "Bring Back Invader Zim" petition. If you don't sign it, you're INSANE!   
  
*****  
  
"Welcome to skool. You're in Mrs. Bitters class. Along with me and....Dib." Zim shuddered, thinking about his big headed enemy. "Do you remember the plan Courtney? YOU DON'T KNOW ME! If you act like you do, the humans will be suspicious."  
  
Zim opened the door to Mrs. Bitters classroom and walked to his desk. Mrs. Bitters hovered over to Courtney and grabbed her arm. "You must be the new DOOMed child. Let me introduce you to the rest of the DOOMed." Mrs. Bitters turned to the class. "Class we have a new student. Her name is Courtney Mystérieux. You can say one thing and then I never want to hear from you again."   
  
"Um, hi! I'm a 5th grader, like you! I used to live in Roswell, and then my parents sent me here. I'm interested in the parascience, and I swear my next door neighbor is a yeti."   
  
"Mr. Brewski?" Dib asked.  
  
"Yeah yeah! That's him!" Courtney exclaimed.  
  
"Silence!" Mrs. Bitters threatened. "Courtney go sit behind...Dib. He's DOOMed more than anyone else. Maybe some of it will rub off on you."   
  
Zim smiled. It was all going according to plan. Courtney walked to her desk behind Dib. The girls started whispering about this strange new girl...Courtney.  
  
"As I was saying class, all of you are DOOMed! Doom! Doom doom doom doom, doom doom doom doom doom doom doom. People like Dib and Zim, and Courtney are DOOMed! Doom doom doom.."  
  
Dib turned around. "Do you really like the parascience? It's awesome. That guy over there..." Dib paused to point at Zim, "he's an alien. He's horrible and is bent on wiping out all mankind. I hate him."  
  
Courtney blinked, struggling to for words. "Um. The parasciense is cool. Zim? That's a weird name. He looks like an alien. How do you know he's horrible? You hate him for being an alien? Isn't that like prejudice against aliens or something? Not all aliens are bad."  
  
Dib pondered for a moment. "I know he is horrible. He plans to take over Earth! That's horrible. I don't hate him for BEING an alien. Well...I'd love to see him on an autopsy table. But....aliens are EVIL!"  
  
"DIB!" Mrs. Bitters snapped. "What was I talking about?"  
  
"You were...uh...saying...that...people like me are DOOMed?" Dib stuttered.  
  
Mrs. Bitters eyes narrowed. "No. But that'll pass anyways. As I was saying people like Zim are DOOMed..."  
  
Courtney looked around. The human stench was making her antenna quiver. 'How does Zim stand this all day?' she wondered. Her eyes rested on one girl in paticular. One girl who's holographic disguise didn't fool her. Tak.   
  
Zim looked between Courtney and Tak. 'Their rivalry could definitely be a problem.' Zim thought. 'Hm...I should get them to be friends.' He looked at Courtney and then Tak. 'Nah, a fight between those two would be something to enjoy.'  
  
Dib slipped a note onto Courtney's desk! 'Finally!' He thought. 'Someone to discuss Zim with. Who is NOT an alien.' He shot a glare at Tak. 'Heh...ok anyways...'  
  
Courtney looked down at the square piece of paper on her desk. She shot a glance at Zim. He was mouthing something. OPEN IT. 'Oh okay!' Courtney thought. She opened the piece of paper, and scrawled in untidy handwriting was a note from Dib;  
  
Courtney...  
  
Heheh, you're the first girl I've ever written a note to. Wow. That's kinda neat. Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my house and ... y'know look at some of my paranormal stuff. And um...yeah. Okay...I'm not good at this. If you say no I'll understand. Um. Yeah.  
  
-Dib  
  
Courtney stared at the back of Dib's head. She pulled out the pencil Zim had given to her and wrote something back;  
  
Dib:  
  
I'd love to go to your house and look at some of the notes. I'll just have to let the family I'm staying with know. I'll bring my notebook. ^_^ Can't wait 'till this afternoon!   
  
~Courtney J. Mystérieux~  
  
She folded the note onto a football fashion and flicked it over to Dib's desk. Her curly handwriting was obviously Irken, but then again, if Dib had ever seen Zim's handwriting, he wouldn't be able to tell, because Zim's handwriting was so sloppy.  
  
She looked over at Zim and saw that he was doodling a little drawing of Earth on fire. She looked at Tak and Tak seemed to be writing a note, but she wasn't sure. Dib was.....writing Courtney's name over and over on a piece of paper and surrounding it with little hearts?!   
  
She leaned over the desk to get a better view, but the bell ring. It startled her so bad that she jumped up. Zim had to stifle his snickering, as the class shuffled out of the classroom.   
  
"C'mon Courtney! I've got to introduce you to Gaz!" Dib called, grabbing Courtney by the arm.  
  
'Here goes nothing!' Courtney thought.  
  
*****  
  
-Courtney is insane, however when on a mission she is very intelligent. But she is still one CRAZY Irken.  
  
-Tak and Courtney are rivals from Invader School  
  
-Mystérieux = Mystery in French, and J. (Her Middle Initial) stands for Jae. Cool? Cool.  
  
*****  
  
Gir: *Blink* That was cool....Master likes Courtney!  
  
Zim: WHAT!?! ME?!?! ZIM NEEDS NO MATE!   
  
Me: Yeah right Zim...whatever...  
  
Zim: REALLY! *Sigh* This sucks.  
  
Gir: I want a taco!!  
  
Me: *pats Gir on the back* I know Gir. I know.  
  
Zim: REVIEW HER STINK BEASTS! OR FACE THE WRATH OF ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!  
  
Me: Calm down Zim, sheeesh. They don't have to review me. *Wink* Although it'd be nice...  
  
Gir: TACO!!!  
  
Zim: GIR!!!!  
  
Gir: Maybe Master needs to get laid. *Runs away*  
  
Zim: GIIIIIIIR!!!!!! *Chases after him*  
  
Me: Um...ok. I'll be waiting patiently for my reviews, while workin' on chapter 7! Bye! *Runs in the direction Zim and Gir went* WAIIT! COME BACK!   
  
***** 


	7. The Flashback

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em....  
  
*****  
  
Gir: Master is testy this morning.  
  
Me: Obviously...  
  
Gir: Can I play with Pig today?  
  
Me: Sure. I'll work on chapter 7.  
  
*****  
  
Zim was coloring in his picture of Earth bursting into flames when a note hit him in the head.   
  
"Who dares throw paper at the almighty ZIIIIIIM?" Zim yelled.  
  
"I did." Tak replied.  
  
"Oh....uh, ok." Zim muttered and looked at the note. It was folded in football fashion and written in the Irken language.  
  
Zim:  
  
What the freak is Courtney doing here? You know I cannot stand her. Did the Tallest send her? Oh this is perfect. I am going to behead her Zim. I really am. Don't write back, I don't think I could deal with the whole..."I like Courtney" denial thing from you.  
  
Tak  
  
Zim smiled. He starting giggling actually. Several of his classmates actually stared at him in amusement. But Zim was giggling like a small school child. He stopped very suddenly however, when Dib started goggling at him. He didn't want to get Dib's attention off of Courtney.  
  
"OW!" Zim, once again was hit with a note. That was once again, written in the Irken language.  
  
Zimmy,   
  
Dib invited me to his house to look at some paranormal notes. This is great! All is going according to plan! Dib doesn't know I'm staying with you. So...I wonder how that'll go.  
  
Courtney  
  
'Great! I can have some time to myself!' Zim thought.  
  
'Wow! Wait till Gaz finds out! A girl is coming to my house! And seeing my paranormal notes! Wow! That's like...awesome.' Dib thought. 'Wait! I need to calm down I can't act like this in front of her. She'll think I'm a dork.'  
  
Dib turned around and stared lovingly at Courtney. Courtney didn't catch it. Zim did. It disgusted it him.   
  
"Filthy stink-beasts and their human emotions." Zim muttered. "Ugh...disgusting."   
  
Tak was also staring at the affectionate look Dib was giving Courtney. 'Oh, that's gross.' She thought. 'Zim looks disgusted also. At least I'm not alone.'   
  
"Doom...that's what the world is filled with." Mrs. Bitters snapped. The bell rung, filling the skool children with hopes for a happier rest of the day. "Go NOW!" Mrs. Bitters ordered, hovering behind her desk.  
  
The children poured out of the classroom. All that was left was Zim, Tak, Dib, and Courtney. Courtney slung her booksack on her shoulder. As soon as she did so, she was grabbed by the wrist and dragged out the classroom door by Dib.   
  
"C'mon Courtney, we've gotta go meet Gaz, my sister." He said excitedly.  
  
Tak and Dib walked out of the classroom together.   
  
"What are you doing back Tak? I thought you were gone." Zim asked.  
  
"I wanted to stay here among the worm babies. They're not so bad y'know." Tak replied. "What's Courtney doing here? I am going to kill her Zim, if she says one word to me."  
  
"Relax, the Tallest sent her. I requested more manpower and the Tallest sent me her." Zim replied. "She doesn't like you much either remember?" He asked.  
  
***Flash Back***  
  
(Wavy lines and Flash Back Music)  
  
A younger Tak and Courtney are sitting together in PreSmeetSkool. Innocently coloring pictures of the planets they are going to conquer when they get older. Zim is behind them throwing paper balls at Skoodge. Courtney needs a red crayon and borrows one from Zim's box.  
  
"HEEEY! WHO DARES TAKES THE MIGHTY ZIM'S CRAYON?!?" Zim raged.  
  
"I did Zimmy." Courtney said innocently.  
  
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!" Zim yelled blushing.  
  
Tak and Skoodge snickered. "Courtney and Zimmy sitting in a tree."  
  
"I don't like that thing!" Zim yelled. "And don't call me that!!"  
  
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Tak and Skoodge sung together.  
  
Courtney blushed furiously. "You said you wouldn't tell!" Courtney screeched at Tak. She took Tak's drawing and ripped it in half.   
  
"HEEY! THAT WAS MY PLANET!" Tak screamed, torn between crying and yelling. She took Courtney's drawing, balled it up and threw it in the trash bin.   
  
"HOW DARE YOU!" Courtney screeched, and with that she lunged at Tak, pulling one of her curly antennas. Tak gets a crayon and stabs Courtney with it. Zim and Skoodge are seen on the outside watching amazed.  
  
***End Flashback***  
  
(Wavy lines and Flashback Music)  
  
"Ah yes, that brings back good memories." Zim said.   
  
"I should have wrung her scrawny little neck for ripping up my picture....ZIMMY." Tak said acidly, and went in the direction of her base.  
  
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" Zim yelled after her.  
  
*****  
  
Gir: Whats wrong Raven?  
  
Me: I got my braces tightened.  
  
Gir: Oooooh neat. Can I explode?  
  
Me: Whatever  
  
(Gir Explodes)  
  
Zim: What happened?  
  
Me: Gir exploded.  
  
Zim: Ooooh, hey why'd you do the flashback thing? I hated PreSmeechSkool. It sucked.  
  
Me: I thought it was cuuuuuuuuuute! (Ruffles Zim's antennas) ZIMMY...  
  
Zim: Don't CALL ME THAT!!!!  
  
***** 


	8. The Grand Tour

*****  
  
Disclaimer: Jhonen V. owns everything...I own nothing....there ya happy? You can't sue me! ^_^  
  
*****  
  
(Gir and Zim are catching some Z's)  
  
I changed my penname to Nevermore. It fits, because my name is Raven. And anyone with half a brain and a Edgar Allan Poe book knows that the raven goes "nevermore." Woo-hoo! It's kinda hard for me not to notice, because I've been getting picked on about it since pre-k. (PreSmeechSkool) o_O  
  
This Chapter Is Dedicated To Tyler *Dib* And His Inadequacy With Girls....Basically He Sucks...  
  
And Me *Gaz* Who Just Wishes He Would Shut Up And Listen Sometimes! :-)  
  
(But I love ya anyways!)  
  
*****  
  
"Gaz, I'd like you to meet Courtney. She's new. I'm showing her my paranormal notes." Dib said excitedly to his sister. (Who was currently busy killing a pig-vampire)  
  
"Nice to meet you." She muttered to Courtney, who was looking around at the houses. "Dib, don't bother me. I'm in the zone. You bother me," She paused to look up at Dib, "I rain doom upon you and your life becomes a living nightmare in which there is no escape."  
  
"Okaaay. Courtney, Gaz is in a good mood today." He said brightly. He turned to Courtney. "I'll race ya." He said.   
  
"Oh you're on!" Courtney replied. She caught up to Dib instantly. And then she stuck her foot out and tripped Dib. Dib skidded onto the sidewalk. Gaz who was behind them, ran ahead to see if Dib was alright. Courtney had continued running towards Dib's house.   
  
"You okay?" Gaz asked quietly, not taking her eyes off the GS2.  
  
"You care?" Dib asked stunned.  
  
"She did it on purpose Dib." Gaz said  
  
"No she didn't. It was...probably an accident." Dib said, shaking his head.  
  
"Dib, I saw it with my own eyes. She tripped you. On purpose. To win." Gaz said, annoyed that Dib wasn't listening.  
  
"Yeah. Whatever Gaz. See ya." And Dib ran off towards the house. Gaz stared after him a moment, then continued her game.   
  
Dib saw Courtney waiting outside his house, tapping her foot patiently. "What took ya so long?" She called.  
  
"I-I fell. Sorry." He gave her a half grin. "You're pretty fast. You should be on some sort of track team."  
  
"Yeah yeah yeah. I wanna see your base. House, I mean." Courtney faltered.  
  
"Sure." Dib pulled out a key and stuck it in the lock, and entered the house. "Welcome to my lair." He announced. "Lemme give you the grand tour." He turned to look at Courtney. "Don't lock it. Gaz has got to get in somehow...unfortunately." He added.  
  
"Ok." Courtney replied.  
  
She was in a small living room with normal furniture. 'Wow, this is really exciting.' She thought sarcastically.   
  
"This is the living room. No suprise there." Dib said. Courtney smiled weakly at him. "Over there is the kitchen. If you want something you can have it...just don't take the last one of anything. Gaz'll kill you."  
  
"I'd like to see her try." Courtney said hotly.   
  
"You'd like to see me try what Courtney?" Gaz had come into the house and snuck into the living room. "Rain impending doom upon your soul? Don't even push me." Gaz continued on with her game. She went into the kitchen and came back out with a Poop Cola. She stalked up the stairs and Courtney heard the sound of a door opening and slamming close.  
  
"You've got an enemy already. And it's not a good one." Dib said.  
  
"Forget it. I can take care of myself. Ooooh, what does this switch do?" She was eyeing a switch on the wall.  
  
"Don't touch that! That's the -"  
  
But it was too late. Courtney had flipped the switch and explosion came from the kitchen. Followed by toast flying out of the kitchen and slamming into an opposite wall.   
  
"Supertoast oven." Dib finished. "I'll clean it up later. Knowing Dad, he probably won't even notice." He looked at Courtney and gave a lopsided grin. "Let's go upstairs so I can show you those notes." Dib grabbed her hand.   
  
They walked together up the stairs. They came to a long hallway with 5 doors. The first door was closed. "Thats Dad's lab. Can't go in there."  
  
"You're Dad has a lab? Is he a scientist or something?" Courtney asked.  
  
"My father is the world-renown Professor Membrane." Dib said bitterly.  
  
"I would think that you'd sound a bit happier than that. If he's famous and everything." Courtney replied.  
  
"Yeah, well lets just say, after Mom died, he drowned himself in his work. He rarely pays attention to us. But I guess we're used to it."  
  
They walked farther. A door was slightly ajar and you could see a large framed picture of a beautiful woman with purple hair.  
  
"That's my dad's room." Dib said. He hesitated, then he pushed the door open further. "That's my mom. Raina. She was the nicest person in the world." He said sadly. "She died. A long time ago, when I was 4. Gaz was 2."  
  
"I'm so sorry." Courtney said with geniune sadness, which is rare for an Irken.  
  
"Too late now. That right there is the bathroom. And that's Gaz's room." Dib said  
  
He was pointing to a room with the door painted black. There were numerous signs on it such as: "No tresspassing. Tresspassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again." and "Keep Out! (this means you Dib)" and in the middle of the door was a giant skull. Below that was an advertisement for GS3, coming out in December 2003.  
  
"Cool." Courtney said, looking at the last door on the hall.   
  
"And this is my room. It's nothing much." Dib said. He opened the door to the gateway of paranormal. And Courtney walked in.  
  
*****  
  
Zim: How dare you cut off right there??  
  
Me: Hey. I like cliffhangers!  
  
Zim: I don't  
  
Me: The next chapter is from Gaz's journal. So you'll find out what happened! And more Tak for the Tak-lovers.  
  
Zim: *reading reviews* How is Courtney Mary-Sueish?  
  
Me: I dunno....I'll fix it...Zimmy...  
  
Zim: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!!  
  
***** 


	9. The Room

*****  
  
Disclaimer: Jhonen V. Property!  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 9 – The Room  
  
*****  
  
"You shouldn't hate anyone Gaz." Mama says. "You don't know him. Just because he took your bow, you shouldn't hate him."  
  
"But I want to hate him. He's mean...."  
  
*****  
  
Like Courtney. I can't believe Dib actually likes her. There is something about her, I just don't like. She's too....perfect. But then again, that might be why Dib likes her. She's supposedly interested in the paranormal. But she knew none of the stuff Dib was talking about. Dib, of course didn't notice. (Oh the joys of thin walls!)   
  
The fact that she tripped him, and he didn't even notice is insane. I swear, he is doomed. And not even by me! By some girl named Courtney. I noticed something else walking home too. Tak's back. Unfortunately. And Zim was walking with her. That's highly unusual. I'd tell Dib, but....  
  
I'd be being helpful wouldn't I?  
  
Mama picks me up and places me on her lap. "If I go away Sweetie, you're going to have to take care of Daddy and Dib. You know how Dad is." There was a hint of bitterness in her voice. "He'll forget. So you're going to have to be nice to Dib."  
  
"Yes Mama. I'll look out for him."  
  
"Make sure no girl hurts him. If they hurt him, you hurt them back. They're sharks y'know."  
  
"Yes Mama. I will."  
  
¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤  
  
Dib's room was ..... obviously his. The bedspread and curtain had little spaceships on them. There were posters of aliens and big foot and a "Men In Black II" poster. Along the top of the wall was a poster that stated; "In space no one can hear you scream." Dib also had Star Trek and Star Wars memorabilia.   
  
"Your room is awesome!" Courtney exclaimed. Her black braids swung around as she turned her head around looking at everything.  
  
Dib flushed. "Nah, it's alright. I do my best." Dib bent down and got a laptop from under his bed. He cut it on. The Windows XP Logo flashed on the screen while his programs loaded.  
  
"So....you got any music?" Courtney asked. 'Anything to liven the place up a bit.'  
  
Dib looked up from the laptop, his glasses askew on his face. He straightened them out. "Uh...no actually. I really don't listen to much music."  
  
Courtney's face fell. "You don't? Wow, looks I've got to get someone some CD's."  
  
Dib smiled. 'Wow, she's so nice.' "Really? Thanks. Look this is all the information I have on Zim."   
  
A screen had come up on the computer that showed a 3-D diagram of Zim with his disguise and without his disguise. Underneath it was EVERYTHING Dib knew about Zim and the Irken race. There was also a revolving picture of Tak at the bottom and some info on her.  
  
Courtney's eyes narrowed. "Who is that?" She pressed.  
  
"Who, Tak? Just some dumb alien girl. She tried to pump magma out of the Earth's core. We got rid of her….But she came back." Dib said disgustingly.  
  
"Who is … 'we'?" Courtney asked.  
  
"Gaz, me, and…Zim." Dib said Zim's name so quietly she almost didn't hear it.   
  
"Zim? He helped SAVE Earth." Courtney said stunned.  
  
"Yup." Dib said quietly. "Makes you question his priorities."  
  
"Dib, there's something you need to know about where I am staying. Social Services says this person requested me to stay with them."  
  
"Well…who is it then?" Dib asked curiously.  
  
"Zim."  
  
"You're staying with ZIM? He's an alien. He'll conduct horrifying experiments on you..and..wait...you're not an alien are you? Oh no." Dib asked.  
  
"No. I'm not an alien. I can take care of myself. And… Dib he's actually nice to me. He's not so bad…for an alien you know." Courtney said quietly. She glanced at the alien-spaceship shaped alarm clock on Dib's dresser. 6:15.  
  
"I've gotta go." Courtney said hurridley.  
  
"Bye." Dib said sadly, but she was already out the door.  
  
¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤  
  
(Everyone's Eating)  
  
I know the last chapter and this one was kinda short, but I plan on making them longer. Um…going to get some pizza! 


	10. The Confusion

»Disclaimer«   
  
I don't own Invader Zim. It's © Jhonen V. Although, I own the plot! :o)  
  
(I can wish though, can't I?)  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
A/N • I am sorry the last few chapters have been pathetically short. (I know I know, try harder Raven!) Yes, well.....But this chapter shall make up for it. Am I correct, or what? Hey, now my story has a PG rating. What the heck, I might be in such a mood I'll make it R if I want it!! :o) Maybe I'll just stick with PG!  
  
Has anyone noticed that this (¥) looks a lot like the Irken sign? You know...if you look at it closely, I mean. I just thought that was interesting...  
  
Quote? "Pixy Stix. Because not every kid can afford crack." -- From "What Bilboard Are You" presented by Quizdiva.  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
Chapter 10 • The Confusion  
  
By: Nevermore  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
Zim's Mission Log::  
  
I swear, one of my plans might actually work!! It's amazing! Dib fell for her like....like...a rock of a cliff! (I am not very good at these Earth expressions) It's pathetic how these...emotions...can blind humans so badly. I even saw Courtney's hologram flicker for a moment in school today. Tak noticed too.  
  
Speaking of Tak, she's back. She claims her alibi is innocent, but I don't believe her. But for what...I must now. No Tak can fool the eyes of the almighty ZIM!!! .....Sorry. Anyways, Courtney went to Dib's base, er, house today. Wonder what that'll bring up?   
  
I've got to thank the Tallest for sending me Courtney. She's perfect for this wonderful scheme. (Thanks to my superior brain meats I might add!) She's dim, but she is good on a mission. Her actions today were so....human. She almost fooled me!! I'm really starting to like her. WITHOUT her stink-beast disguise however. I like the way her antennae are so long and curly. That's cute...  
  
WAIT ONE GOSH DARN FRICKIN MINUTE!!!  
  
(Earth slang does come in handy some time!)  
  
I just said Courtney was cute. Ew, that makes my spine shrivel in pain at the horrifying thought of Courtney. Cute. Yeah right. Whatever. Although she does have a nice eye color. Amber...yes...very rare in Irkens actually. It is supposedly a sign of intelligence. That makes me laugh...Courtney....intelligent.  
  
Although she is cute.  
  
AH I AM SO CONFUSED! I must go through this....sufferable internal struggle later, for Courtney has returned to the base. (Her and Gir are watching a GS3 advertisement.)  
  
This is Invader Zim...signing off.  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
"You're late Courtney." Zim said acidly. "I told you to be here at 6:15 precisely. Why didn't you listen to me? Is the Dib-human really that amusing?"   
  
Zim wasn't really mad. In fact, he could have cared less. But he just really wanted to scare Courtney. And it was working. Working well actually.  
  
"I'm sorry Zim. Dib was showing me everything he had about you. You could say I was...gathering information. He even had a profile on your personality." Courtney said, stumbling over her words.  
  
Zim's expression softened. "Really?" An evil grin spread across his face. "What did it consist of?"   
  
"Uh, well Zim, it started out that you were an egotistical moron." Courtney said quietly.  
  
Zim scowled. "I am not a moron. There is none more intelligent than Zim and my inferior brain meats!"  
  
"Er, don't you mean 'superior'?" Courtney asked.  
  
"Yes yes. That's why I said. Superior." Zim's antennae twitched. He was angry that Courtney had learned nothing from the trip at Dib's base. He turned around and headed toward the lab.  
  
"He knows I'm staying with you!" Courtney called to his retreating back.  
  
"You told him?" Zim was furious. "He was supposed to find out on his own Courtney. Why in Irk's name did you tell him?"   
  
"I am assuming that was a bad thing to do." Courtney said sheepishly.  
  
"Yes Courtney." Zim's voice had an edge to it. "It was a very bad thing. It could jepordize this plot Courtney! HAVE YOU NO REGARD FOR MY MISSION!?!"  
  
'Hey buddy, I can yell too.' Courtney thought. "YEAH, I DO HAVE SOME REGARD FOR YOUR....STUPID....PATHETIC MISSION. I QUIT. BECAUSE YOU TAKE EVERYTHING TOO DAMN SERIOUS!" Courtney yelled. With that, she stomped toward the kitchen, and down to the lower level basement where her room was.   
  
Zim stood agahst. He hadn't expected Courtney to actually yell back. 'Maybe I should apologize.' Zim thought. 'NAH!'  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
Courtney's Mission Log::  
  
Zimmy is being unbearably mean to me. I didn't do nothing. Nothing at all. It's a good thing I brought Bear with me. I thought I'd need a teddy bear to hug. (Zim won't lemme touch him!) I love Zimmy, I really do. But why is he so mean? Is it because he's been picked on and ridiculed his entire life, and he wants to impress the Tallest and the entire planet of Irk? Possible.  
  
Or maybe he's in a grumpy mood because Gir painted lipstick all over his face today while he was napping. Heh, could be.  
  
The Dib-human is alright really. His sister is going to be a problem. She doesn't really like me. Well, according to Dib she likes no one, but she really hates me. Well there's another enemy for me.   
  
Tak is here. On Earth. She can't stand it, can she? She's only here because of Zim. She likes him. She has always has to have everything I want. Oh well, why can't we be friends? We used to be. Back in PreSmeechSkool.  
  
But Zim.  
  
Zim is the reason we aren't friends. We've been fighting for him for decades. It's just...I'm a lot more obvious with my love then she is. Oh well....  
  
Maybe Zim will be happier tomorrow. I'm going to Bloaty's with Gir for some pizza and Poop Cola.  
  
Invader Cortocircuito (Courtney) signing off.  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
"Damn it." He pounded a fist on his desk. His life was so complicated. Zim turned around his rolly chair, ready to do more research when the door bell rung. "Computer, full zoom on camera one at entrance." Instantly there was a picture of a girl, absentmindely tapping her foot, impatient. "Tak." He muttered.  
  
He put on his wig and lenses, (much to his displeasure) and somehow managed to get to the front door without tripping over anything. He opened the door and faced Tak.  
  
"What took you so long?" She asked coldly. She stepped in his house.  
  
"My sworn enemies don't usually come to my doorstep Tak. What do you want?" Zim said removing his lenses and wig. 'All that trouble and I don't even need them'.  
  
Tak followed suit and her hologram disguise dissapered. "I want a truce." Tak said, dusting her attennae off.  
  
Zim's jaw dropped. "You're joking." He stuttered. "Tak, you've never ever made a truce before. Do you even know how?"  
  
"Yes, of course I know how." Tak snapped. She held out a gloved hand. "Truce?"  
  
"Truce." They shook hands. Tak quickly withdrew hers. "Although, I must ask. Why?"  
  
"Why what?"  
  
"Why a truce. After all these years, you've never wanted a truce before, why start now?"  
  
Tak hesitated. She hadn't planned on Zim asking why. "Well, I figured if I'm going to be on this planet a while, I might as well become friends with you." She looked up at Zim.  
  
Her eyes were full of sadness, happiness, and something else Zim couldn't describe. Her eyes, however, were lacking the usual something in them that she always had when looking upon him. Scorn. Hatred. Extreme dislike.  
  
He gave her a devilish grin. "Ok Tak, that's enough bonding. Besides, if Courtney found out you were here, she'd kill me and you. Jealous you know." His eyes gleamed.  
  
Tak's eyes narrowed. "She would never kill me. Although you are fair game." But she smiled. "I'll go. And see you at skool tomorrow. I feel like shocking the hell out of Dib."   
  
"How?" Zim asked curiously.  
  
Her eyes brightened. "Suprise." And she didn't say anything else. She simply...left.   
  
He was in brighter spirits. Then something clicked in his brain.  
  
'DAMN! HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID!' He thought. 'OH THE CONFUSION! OH THE INHUMANITY!' For he had just identified the look in Tak's eyes. How could he not? He saw it in Courtney's eyes all the time. 'Love.'   
  
"My life sucks."  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
Zim: I told you Zim was mighty. Two girls dig me. And they're hot.  
  
Dib: You have problems...  
  
Zim: You question my sanity Dib-human?  
  
Dib: Uh...yeah?  
  
Me: Yes..yes..all goes according to plan. Zim is quite the ladies man.  
  
Dib: Heh, if you call Courtney and Tak ladies.  
  
Me: You like Courtney.  
  
Dib: *Blushing* Oh yeah..  
  
Zim: HAHAHA! THERE IS NONE MORE WANTED THAN ZIM!!!!  
  
Me: Who else will like Zim? Tune in next chapter! Someone likes Dib?!? Hey that wasn't in the script!  
  
Dib: Hey! I felt unloved, okay? Just work with me.  
  
Me: *Sigh* You guys are hopeless.  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤• 


	11. The Inhumanity

•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
»Disclaimer«   
  
Jhonen's property. Not mine.   
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
Author's Note::   
  
Hey! This is coming along pretty nicely. Tak and Courtney like Zim. And Zimmy is so confused. What is he going to do when he finds out yet another girl likes him? And Dib is jealous? Wow. I didn't even expect that one. But Dib has a secret admirer himself. As Zim says, "Oh the confusion! Oh the INHUMANITY!"  
  
Quote -- Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critisize someone, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
Chapter 11 • The Inhumanity  
  
By:: Nevermore  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
'Why, oh WHY does it have to be me?' Zim thought. He had tried telling his confusing problem to GIR, but GIR had just told him to forget them all and marry the taco lady. Who the taco lady was, Zim hadn't the slightest, but GIR will be GIR. He was in his disguise, walking towards skool, when he ran into something.  
  
"MY SPIIIIIIIINE! MY SUPERIOR SPIIIIIIIIIIINE! Who DARES cross Zim's path?" He raged.  
  
"That would be me." Gaz said. Her hands were free of the usual Gameslave.  
  
'It's a good thing I didn't walk to skool with Courtney this morning. That would have been a problem.' Zim thought. "Dib-sister? What do you want?"   
  
"I need to tell you something." Gaz said, looking up at the green boy.  
  
"What stink-beast? I have to get to skool y'know. I don't need to face Ms. Bitters' doooom."   
  
"I like you." She said, looking down at the cement, pretending to be interested in it.  
  
"WHAT? YOU LIKE ZIM? THE TERRIFYING THREAT OF THE HUMAN RACE?" Zim asked.  
  
"I guess so."   
  
"Oh."  
  
And with that, she leaned up and kissed him.  
  
Many things happened after Gaz kissed Zim. Courtney and Tak, who had been hiding behind different bushes lunged out to save Zim from the human show of affection. Dib who had following Gaz lunged at Gaz to save her from the evil alien germs. And Zim stepped back in shock at all the new emotions he was feeling. He was happy, scared, shocked, disgusted, and excited all at once.  
  
"W-what did you do to me Gaz-human. Have you plagued me with some sort of h-human virus. No! The HORROR! THE INHUMANITY! AHHHH!" And he started screaming and running around in tiny circles till Tak and Courtney reached him.  
  
"Zimmy! What did that horrible stink-beast do to you?" Courtney asked shrilly.  
  
"ZIM! ARE YOU ALRIGHT! ANSWER ME!" Tak had grabbed Zim by the shoulders and started shaking him.  
  
"Get away from him Tak. He doesn't like you!"  
  
"He doesn't like you either!"  
  
"Does too!"  
  
"Does not!"  
  
"TOO!"  
  
"NOT!"  
  
"TOO!"  
  
"NOT!"  
  
"TOO!"  
  
"TOO!"  
  
"NOT!"  
  
"Aha! I win!" Tak said triumphantly.  
  
"No fair! YOU TRICKED ME!" She lunged at Tak.  
  
"You IDIOT!" Tak screamed pulling her antennae.  
  
Zim watched in amazement as the two Irkens struggle to beat each other down. He would have started laughing if Dib had not just tackled him from behind.  
  
"Release me Dib-human, or suffer my WRAAAAAATH!" Zim yelled. He pushed at Dib's big head but cut his arm on the scythe-looking hair piece. "OW! You really need to cut that y'know."  
  
"How dare you use you alien tricks to kiss my sister!" Dib yelled. "I'll kill you slowly. I'll start by kicking you SPINE!" He kicked Zim as hard as he could in the back.  
  
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! MY SPINE! MY SPINE HAS BEEN KICK-ED! HOW DARE YOU! OUCH!" Zim started twitching. (A/N::That must have hurt!)  
  
Dib was about to kick Zim again when Gaz grabbed the back of his trench coat.   
  
"Let go of him, or your life is over." Gaz threatened. "He didn't use any alien tricks to kiss me, because I kissed him."  
  
"W-why would you want to kiss an ALIEEEEN!" He said, dragging out the 'E's in alien.   
  
"Because I like him, you dork."  
  
Dib wasn't getting it. "No, really. Why'd you kiss him?"  
  
Gaz's eyes opened. "Get this through your big head! I KISSED HIM, because I LIKE HIM!" She yelled.  
  
Zim eyes popped open. Dib's mouth fell open in shock. Courtney and Tak had temporarily had stopped beating each other up.  
  
"N-no! NOT THE LUNCHEON MEATS! NEVER! THE INHUMANITY!" Zim screamed and took off running towards the skool screaming about luncheon meat.  
  
"That was neat." Dib said.  
  
"Yup." Tak replied.  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
My deadjournal:: http://www.deadjournal.com/users/nevermore89/  
  
Check it out please. Thank you. Come again.  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤• 


	12. The Escape

•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
»Disclaimer«  
  
I don't own Invader Zim. Although I own Invader Courtney. o_O  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
Author's Note::  
  
Er, I know the last couple of chapters have been kinda, on the short side. But I'm hoping this is a big longer considering I won't update again till July 6th. I hope you like it.   
  
Theme Song For This Chapter:: Everywhere, Michelle Branch  
  
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"Gir! Gir? Can you hear me? GIR!? HELLO?" He banged the transimitter against the cement. "Curse this transmitter!" Zim yelled. An image of Gir surrounded Zim in the alleyway in which he was hidden.   
  
"Master! I got tacos! I got tacos!" Gir was bouncing up and down with a bag of tacos in his hand.  
  
"That's nice Gi -- wait...Did you leave the base?" Zim demanded.  
  
"I don't know." Gir said sweetly.  
  
Zim scowled. "Gir. Start the voot runner. We've got to get out of here. There is t-too many problems right now. We will be going to Earth's moon, because I-I need to sort out some problems."   
  
If Gir noticed Zim faltering and blushing, he didn't pay attention to it. But then again, Gir does has the attention span of a rodent.  
  
Gir turned bright red and salluted. "Yes my lord." And the screen blinked out.  
  
'No. No. No one is going to pelt me with luncheon meats. Not even...Gaz. Or Tak. Or Courtney.' Zim thought. His squeedly-spooch lurched with the sickening thought. He hid behind a trashcan and waited. Gaz and Dib passed by, with Zim unnoticed. Gaz had threw herself into her Gameslave when Zim ran, but only after she made Dib pay. She seemed somewhat pleased, while Dib was wincing with every stepped. Zim merely smirked and remained in hiding.  
  
A few minutes after Gaz and Dib, Courtney came stomping along, her hologram wavering slightly so you could see her twisted antennae. Her natural amber eyes were glowing with anger at the moment. Whom Zim could probably guess was anger directed at Tak.   
  
After Courtney had fixed her antennae and her hologram, and continued on her way. Tak walked past the alleyway, oblivious to the fact that Zim was still hiding behind the trashcan. Tak's hollogram and antennae seemed fine. She was looking around for something. She was walking towards the trashcan. Zim backed up slowly and tripped over a piece of wood and fell with a satisfying THUD!  
  
"You need to get better hiding places Zim." Tak said. She kicked the trashcan out of her way and reached out and took his hand. "Your mind works in very obvious ways."  
  
"Zim is nothing but obvious." Zim said indignantly. "I just tripped over that FILTHY piece of wood. You would have never seen Zim in his ingenius hiding location."  
  
"Sure Zim." Tak looked at Zim. "C'mon, we've got to get to the skool. Ms. Bitters will reign doom upon us if we don't."  
  
"You go. I'm cutting skool today. I have....plans." Zim said, hesitantly.   
  
"But Zim -" Tak started.  
  
But Zim had already started running towards the base. 'Gir must have the Voot Cruiser running by now. I've got to get out of here.' He heard footsteps behind him, so he chanced a glance back. Tak was following him. Zim picked up the pace. He ran into the cul-de-sac, out of breath. In his yard, beside the "I love Earth" flag, was Gir dancing with a .... mongoose?  
  
"GIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! WHAT ABOUT THE," he lowered his voice, "Voot Cruiser?!" Zim asked.  
  
"It's ready. But I got bored. So...I got a mongoose!" Gir cried, now swing the mongoose around by its arms. "Goosey, Goosey, Goosey!" Gir sung happily.  
  
"Put the mongoose down Gir. We've gotta go. Grab some Poop cola, some tacos and cupcakes, and lets go. We've gotta go to the moon. It's...critical for the mission." Zim said.  
  
"Riiiight." Gir said slowly. "Do I get to sing the doom song?"  
  
"Yes, yes fine." Zim snapped. He grabbed Gir's arm and pulled him inside the base, and into the lower levels of the basement. "Computer! Is the Voot Runner ready?"  
  
"No 'Hey how are you feeling today?' Master?" The Computer replied.  
  
"SHUT UP and lemme know is the Voot Runner ready!"  
  
"I can't do both." The Computer retorted.  
  
Zim's fist clenched. He was angry, he had problems that he needed to sort out, away from Earth, and his computer was giving him smart ansawers.  
  
"Look!" He wasn't yelling, but his voice was shaking with anger, "Is the Voot Runner ready? Answer me, or I'll be unplugging you." Zim said acidly.  
  
The Computer (if it has emotions) was stunned. "Yes Zim. The Voot Cruiser is ready."  
  
"Good. Gir get your stuff, and come on. We're preparing for ignitial take off." Zim said.  
  
"YAY! I GOTS STUFF!" Gir sung happily.  
  
The hatch to the Voot Cruiser opened slowly, steam seeping out the opening. Zim put a foot inside and hoisted a box inside. Gir followed, snuggling with the mongoose.   
  
"Destination?" The Computer asked.  
  
"Earth's moon." Zim said hastily and closed the hatch to the voot cruiser.   
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
Next Chapter coming to a computer screen near you! 


	13. The Commercial Break II

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Author's Note::  
  
If you're reading this, it means I'm in New York. I won't be updating until July 6th, which is the day after I get back. So enjoy yourselves, puny humans. Because Zim, Gir, Gaz, Dib, Courtney, and Tak will continue their adventure after a long deserved break. -.-;; But I've left them here, to wreak habit for the rest of this Author's Note.   
  
Later Days,   
  
Raven  
  
P.S. I dunno who's in charge, but I feel sorry for them!   
  
P.S.S. The following is kinda related to the story, but it's unneccesary. It's not really a chapter. *I think*  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
Zim: As I am the almighty Zim. I'd like to state that I am in charge.   
  
Dib: You are not. She didn't say who's in charge. Can't you read?  
  
Gaz: (playing GS3) Apparently not.   
  
Zim: Have you the BRAIN WORMS?!?! Of course I'm in charge. And I'd like to start off by saying that Raven left a message saying that'd she'd like to thank Invader Nicole, Faith, and anyone else who's been continuesly reading her fanfic. (bows)  
  
Dib: What are you bowing for? You didn't do anything!  
  
Gaz: Shut up Dib.  
  
Dib: (sighs) Whatever. (Leaves)  
  
Zim: So.....  
  
Gaz: So....  
  
(Courtney rushes in)  
  
Courtney: AHA! I KNEW YOU WEREN'T TO BE TRUSTED AROUND MY ZIMMY! (points accusingly at Gaz)  
  
(Gaz shrugs and continues playing)  
  
Zim: DON'T CALL ME THAT!! AND I AM NOT YOUR POSSESION! I AM ZIM!  
  
Courtney: You've always been my Zimmy.  
  
Zim: I have not!  
  
Gaz: Zimmy?  
  
Zim: It's her sick nickname for me. Since PreSmeechSkool.  
  
Gaz: Oh.  
  
Courtney: (on the verge of tears) You don't like me Zimmy?  
  
Zim: As more than a friend, no.  
  
(Courtney runs out weeping)  
  
Gaz: That was kinda neat.  
  
Zim: Yup.  
  
(Tak comes in)  
  
Tak: What was the twit crying about?  
  
Gaz: Zim doesn't like her.  
  
Tak: I coulda told her that. In fact I think I did tell her that.  
  
(Tak reaches behind her and pull out a laser)  
  
Tak: Get away from Zim, human and all will be well.  
  
(Gaz stares at her)  
  
Gaz: (blink) Okay...  
  
(Gaz starts to edge away from Zim, but instead hits a button on the side of her GS3, which instantly transforms into a gun. She aims at Tak, and fires. Tak dissaperes.)  
  
Zim: T-that...w-what happened?   
  
Gaz: It's a transporter. She's probably at Ms. Bitters' house or something. That's where I put it last time.  
  
Zim: Who'd you transport to Ms. Bitters' house?  
  
Gaz: Dib.  
  
Zim: Oh.  
  
(A beat, then Gaz leans in and kisses Zim on...er, the...I guess the lips)  
  
-|-  
  
BEEP BEEP BEEP!  
  
"Oooo! Master's face hit a button!" Gir said.  
  
"W-what, what? Where?" Zim shouted, his head snapping up off the control panel of the ship.   
  
"Master when to sleep! So I baked a cake!" Gir said happily.  
  
"Oh, what a nightmare." Zim muttered. He cocked his head at Gir. "You couldn't have made a cake. There's no utilities to -"   
  
But nevertheless, Gir was holding a chocolate cake.   
  
"Oh, give me some of that." Zim snapped, and reached over and grabbed a slice of cake. "Computer! How long till we get to Earth's moon?"   
  
"July 6th, Zim." The Computer replied.  
  
"Crud."   
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤• 


	14. The Moon

Disclaimer:: I don't own anything. -.-;; Sadly....  
  
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Author's Note::  
  
It's taken me a while to write this chapter. I've been at band all week. So....myep. Here it goes.  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
Chapter 14: The Moon  
  
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"INCOMING MESSAGE FROM....EARTH."  
  
Skoodge raised an eyebrow. Zim? What would Zim be contacting him for? Whatever it was, it couldn't be good. While Skoodge was struggling to decide should he take the message or not, Zim's head popped up on his screen.  
  
"Skoodge! Long time right? I need a favor." Zim said, his red eyes glowing.  
  
"Uh, well I -"   
  
"Good, good! I knew I could count on you!" Zim said happily.  
  
"But I -"  
  
"Meet me at Earth's moon, now."  
  
"Zim I -"   
  
"Thanks Skoodge!" And Zim's head faded from the screen.  
  
Skoodge wondered what Zim had in store for him now. Ever since PreSmeechSkool, Zim had Skoodge doing favors for him.   
  
**Flashback**  
  
"Trust me Skoodge. Tak won't know what hit her." Zim said. He was holding a bucket of paint. Red paint.   
  
"W-what am I supposed to do again?" Skoodge stammered.   
  
Zim sighed. "Honestly, Skoodge. I'm going to distract Tak, by being...myself. You come up behind her and dump the paint on her overlarge head! It will be a VICTORY FOR ZIM!" He announced. "Look, she's coming now." He pushed Skoodge behind a desk.  
  
"Move. Now. Before I make you." Tak said quietly.  
  
"Tak! How are you doing this glorious day?" Zim asked loudly.  
  
Tak eyed Zim suspiciously. "You're up to something Zim. I will find out. Then you will pay."  
  
"No. No of course not. What ever makes you think that?"  
  
Skoodge had just now come out of his hiding place holding up the bucket of paint. It was then that Courtney decided to be her shrill, annoying self and hug Zim.   
  
"ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY!" Courtney yelled, pushing past Skoodge, who stumbled and the paint splashed on Zim and Skoodge.  
  
"Losers." Tak muttered and wandered off.  
  
Skoodge remembered promptly that he had spent three days with red antennaes.  
  
**End Flashback**  
  
Skoodge had to talk to someone. And he knew just who.  
  
***  
  
"Welcome to Earth's moon Gir!" Zim said.  
  
"YAY! I'm gonna name it MONGOOSE!" Gir cried happily, skipping crater to crater.  
  
"It's already been named Gir. The humans named their moon....Moon. That's idiotic."  
  
"What are we doing on Mongoose?"  
  
"We're waiting for Skoodge."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Zim and Gir waited for an hour. Zim continuously checking his watch, and Gir being....Gir.   
  
"I don't understand what's taking Skoodge so long, he shouldn't have been that far away, he was in this solar system."  
  
"Maybe the monkeys ate him. Or maybe he was attacked by luncheon meats!" Gir exclaimed.  
  
Zim's eyes widened with fear. "Meat? The meat? No! Not Skoodge! He was so young!" Zim starts to panic and run around screaming in little tiny circles.   
  
"ZIM!" A voice called.  
  
Zim paused from his running to look around. There was Skoodge. Looking around anxiously and avoiding Gir. Who was currently trying to hug him.   
  
"Skoodge! You made it! You're late. Must've taken the scenic route, eh?" Zim said goodheartedly.   
  
Skoodge said nothing but continued to look around nervously. "Zim I'm really sorry for what's about to happen and I -"  
  
"What's about to happen Skoodge?" Zim said nervously.  
  
"Hello Zimmy." Two voices said. Voices Zim knew. Voices he recognized instantly.  
  
"Tak? Courtney? What are you doing here? TOGETHER!?" Zim said, fear rising in his voice. 'This is worse than the luncheon meats.' Zim thought.   
  
Tak's antennaes were curlier than usual, purple eyes narrowed with suspicion. Face scrunched up with hatred and a smirk. Tak had "less-than-friendly feelings" for Zim at the moment. And making her work with Courtney was only making her anger worse. She still loved him, but she was really really pissed. (A/N: Whoa, she's scaring me!)  
  
Courtney, on the other hand, looked positively delighted. Amber eyes full of laughter and joy and brightness, she picked up Gir, and gave him a taco. Which didn't help Zim in his dangerous situation.  
  
"Tacoooooooooooos!" Gir cried, happily munching on the meat by-product.  
  
"Zim, I thought you were smarter than this. I mean, of course I knew you planned on running off to think about our, er - current predicament. So I tailed Skoodge. But that bad side of that is, I had to bring the idiot with me." She glanced at Courtney.  
  
"And Zimmy, she was horrible to me. She was mean and yelled, and wouldn't even play Good Charlotte." Courtney pouted.  
  
Tak rolled her eyes."Mimi, capture Gir. Courtney," she paused. "Help me capture Zim and tie him up. Properly now, so he can't get loose."  
  
Mimi, who had been standing inconspicuously behind Gir lept out and bounded Gir to Zim's Voot Cruiser. Gir, however, didn't seem to mind.  
  
"YAY! I'm GOING TO GET LAID! WOO!" Gir yelled.   
  
"Gir! For the love of Irk, defend yourself!" Zim yelled angrily.  
  
"Yes sir." Gir said, turning a bright red. "I loooooove you." He said turning his usual aqua color again.  
  
Zim rolled his eyes. Gir was obviously going to be no help in this situation. He would have to rely on his superior brain meats. As usual.  
  
"What are you up to?" Zim asked. "Is this about the paint?"  
  
"No." Tak snapped. "This is about Gaz. The human girl. You have...affection for her." Tak muttered.  
  
"Yeah. She's not very nice." Courtney piped in.  
  
"WHAT!?!? ZIM HAS NO AFFECTION! HE NEEDS NO WOMAN! HE IS ZIM!"  
  
"I knew the ones who referred to themselves in third person were crazy." Skoodge muttered.  
  
Zim shot a nasty look at Skoodge, who lowered his head.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Tak said acidly. "Well then, I guess you won't mind if we turn her into a giant burrito."  
  
"W-what?" Zim stuttered.  
  
A screen came out of the back of Skoodge's ship showing Gaz in her room playing GS3. Zim couldn't see her face. Dib was seen outside the window, hanging from a tree branch video taping something.  
  
"What are you going to do to her?" Zim asked.  
  
"Nothing. If you move from Earth."  
  
"WHAT?? What about my mission?!?!" He yelled.  
  
Tak sighed. "I already told you. The Tallests are lying to you Zim. They lie. A lot. Especially to you. Because," she paused and took a breath, "THEY DON'T LIKE YOU!"   
  
"YOU LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" Zim said. "LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"  
  
"Oh yeah?" Tak said acidly.   
  
The screen showing Gaz faded and a video transmition of the Tallest came up. Everything became eerily quiet. Skoodge stopped whimpering. Gir stopped yelling about getting laid and waffles. Courtney stopped humming. Tak stopped threating and Zim stopped breathing.  
  
"Tak. We want you to turn Earth into a giant snack container. Me and Purp -" Red was interrupted by a very annoyed Purple.  
  
"That sounds gay Red." Purple snapped.  
  
"FIIIIINE. Me and Purple have decided you can do it. Oh, and kill Zim for us, won't you?" Red said eagerly.  
  
"I'm getting tired of waking up in the middle of the night to see his stupid inventions. I need my beauty sleep you know." Purple added.  
  
"We want to have his head mounted on the Wall of, er -"  
  
"Heads." Purple said.  
  
"We're going to go get burritos....Later!" Red said, signing off.  
  
"Bye!" Purple waved.  
  
The video faded. The silence was deafening. Gir had a tear forming in the corner of his eye and was quietly sobbing for the loss of a buritto that he could have eaten. Courtney was, well standing in shock. Skoodge was shuffling his feet in moon dust. Tak, who looked utterly devastated at showing Zim the video. All heads turned to Zim, who, suprisingly, was cackling.  
  
"Ha. That was the most OBVIOUS fake transmission I've ever seen! And I've seen, lots, for I am Zim." Zim said.   
  
The scowl returned on Tak's face. "Oh yeah? Well, no one can forge the Tallest's handwriting can they?" She thrusted a letter in Zim's face.  
  
(A/N: CAPITALS = Red lowers = Purple)  
  
TAK:: [hey tak]  
  
HOWS OUR SNACK CONTAINER GOING? yeah, i'm hungry! IS ZIM DEAD? PLEASE SAY HE IS! HE JUST SENT US ANOTHER TRANSMISSION ASKING FOR AN ACOMPLICE ON HIS *MISSION*. yeah, we sent him courtney. ya'll were friends remember? ANYWAY....MAKE SURE YOU GET HIS HEAD...WE HAVE TO KEEP IT FOR OUR BRAND NEW WALL OF ...heads. yup. i want his robot. he's cute. SHUT UP. make me. :-P WHATEVER. JUST KILL HIM. yup. i like killing. SHUT UP. make me reddy-poo. GROWL. haha.  
  
RED -.-;;  
  
purple O.O  
  
Zim blinked. Continuously. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ITS A LIE! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!"  
  
"Yes, well Zimmy, it doesn't matter if you believe us or not. That's not what we're here for." Courtney said, filing her nails. [If she has them.]  
  
"What are you here for then?" Zim spat.  
  
"To destroy Gaz." Tak said simply.  
  
She pressesd a button on a control pad on her hip, and the screen showing Gaz's head instantly came back up. She was now writing in a book. Zim struggled to read the cover of it, it said "Journal: Touch this Dib and Die A Horrible Death By Spoons."   
  
Tak held up the control pad and pointed to a giant red button. "This button will turn Gaz into a giant burrito. If you don't promise to leave Earth. If you do, we'll leave her alone."  
  
"Although, I don't see why we should threaten her. She isn't a nice person. Not at all. Her brother is friendly though." Courtney said, now taking out a can of Poop Cola, and ignoring Gir's pleas to share.  
  
Zim was thinking. "I can't leave Earth. If I don't destroy it, the Tallest will be very unhappy and -"  
  
"Is that your answer?" Tak asked quietly.  
  
"I CAN'T LEAVE EARTH TAK! YOU KNOW THAT! PLEASE DON'T -"  
  
"Say bye-bye to Gaz, Zim." Tak said acidly.  
  
"Bye! Big-headed-boy's sister!" Gir said happiliy.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zim yelled.  
  
Everything happened in slow motion. Zim was screaming still, Gir and Courtney were humming, Skoodge was standing there, and Tak's finger was heading for the big red button. And she hit it.  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
I think thats a very good spot to cut off. Prepare yourselves for an ending that no one is going to expect. Really. But...eh-hem.  
  
[In Dramatic Announcer Voice]  
  
Will Gaz get turned into a giant burrito? What's Dib doing? Why is Skoodge acting like an inanimate object? Will Gir get Poop Cola? Tune in next time!  
  
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	15. The End

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Disclaimer: Woo! I'm really hyper right now. I just got back from a week of band camp and I'd like to say...I don't own nothin'. Not even my instrument. [Bass Clarinet]  
  
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Author's Note::  
  
*TEAR* Well....this is the last chapter. I dunno, there *might* be an epilouge. But I'm not sure. But there will definitely be a sequel. I'm thanking the peoples who read my first pathetic attempt at a IZ Fic. I've already finished the first chapter of the sequel. (Facing Facts)....Here's the last chapter!  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
Chapter 15: The End  
  
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"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zim yelled. He glanced at the screen, there was a flash of light surrounding Gaz and she turned into a burrito. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!"  
  
Coutney bit her lip, as though sad, but Tak laughed. Loudly. Gir was sobbing, because he couldn't reach the burrito and he realized he wasn't going to get..."laid." Skoodge had edged away from the crowd and had started to climb into his Voot Cruiser when another Voot Cruiser pulled up behind him.   
  
"What The -?" Tak said. But she never finished. Because Dib hopped out of the Voot Cruiser.  
  
"Hope you don't mind me borrowing this Zim." He said grinning out of his space suit.  
  
"DIB-HUMAN! WHAT *ARE* You doing with my spare Voot Cruiser? And...h-how are you here, when you're there?" Zim said, confused. He pointed to the screen where the other Dib was hanging from the tree with the video camera. A sudden breeze came and the Dib on the screen turned around. It was made of straw!  
  
"B-but Gaz...she's a giant BURRITO! SHE'S YOUR SISTER DON'T YOU CARE??" Zim yelled furiously.  
  
"'Course I care. But that's not my sister, Space Boy." Dib said quietly, still grinning.  
  
"There was once a small annoying boy named Iggins, who wanted a GS3. I promised him one. If he pretended to be me." A voice said.  
  
Everyone turned around and saw Gaz walking out of the Voot Cruiser. She shrugged.  
  
"THAT is Iggins. And he is *not* keeping my GS3." She said pointing to the screen.  
  
There was a stunned silence. Gir was humming some song he'd heard on the radio. Skoodge was er...blinking. Courtney and Tak stood aghast. Dib was inspecting some moon rocks, while Zim stared at Gaz.  
  
"CURSE THE LUNCHEON MEATS!" He yelled. He started struggling against his restraints.   
  
Tak and Courtney exchanged glances. "W-well Courtney....I guess...we're going to have to let Zimmy go. Considering the fact that two big and scary humans are threatening us." Tak said, cackling.  
  
Courtney snickered. "You're right. I am feeling ever-so threatened." Courtney said in a highpitched voice.  
  
Tak and Courtney laughed and pulled identical weapons. "Don't move." Tak said snapped.  
  
The smile faded from Dib's face and Gaz's eyes opened.  
  
However, oblivious to everyone else, Gir was starting to realize that everyone was in danger. He turned a bright red and all sorts of weaponry popped out of his head. "YES MASTER! GIR WILL SAVE THE DAY AND GET TACOS FOR EVERYONE!" He exclaimed. And with a flamethrower he burned the bond connecting him and MiMi, and was free. He blasted Mimi with some sort of missle and Mimi was thrown 25 feet, where she lay, still. Gir then hovered over to where Zim was tied up.  
  
"G-gir? You're actually doing something RIGHT!" Zim said astounded.  
  
While Tak and Courtney were distracted trying to restore Mimi to power, and keeping an eye on Gir, Gaz and Dib used this time to time to grab their weapons.   
  
"FREEZE ALIEN SCUM!" Dib yelled. Everyone stared at him. "What?" He chuckled. "Always wanted to say that."  
  
Gaz rolled her eyes. "Tak and Courtney over there. By the big screen...thing."  
  
Tak glared, but stomped over to the screen, dragging a sad-looking Courtney along with her. Gir was untying Zim and humming the Doom Song. He had returned to his usual aqua color.   
  
"Woo! Masters FREE!" Gir shrieked.  
  
"I'm free." Zim said, wringing out his arms. "And I want some answers."  
  
"I can give yout those." Courtney said.   
  
Tak glared at her. "You - do - no - talking." She hissed.  
  
"Me and Takkie were jealous that you liked Gaz and not us. So she wanted to turn Gaz into a giant burrito if you didn't leave Earth, and then you would fall in love with her....and .... um, stuff....." Courtney said.  
  
Zim glared. "WHEN WILL YOU GET IT!?! ZIM NEEDS NO MATE. HE IS THE ALMIGHTY ZIIIIIIM!" Zim launched into a rant. "I DO *NOT* HAVE A-AFFECTION FOR THE GAZ-HUMAN. I AM *NOT* LEAVING EARTH, AND THE TALLEST *DO* LIKE ME."  
  
"Whatever." Tak said. "Can we go now?"  
  
Zim blinked. "Um...yeah."  
  
Dib snapped back to reality. "W-what? They just tried to turn my sister into a giant burrito and you're letting them go!?!? Are you insane?!"   
  
Zim shrugged. Courtney and Tak exchanged happy glances.  
  
"Yes! This means I get to go with my second love!" Courtney shrieked.  
  
"Who is...?" Gaz asked. Everyone looked curiously at Courtney.  
  
"SKOODGEY!" She shrieked, and ran to hug Skoodge.  
  
"Uh......o......k then." Tak said. "I'm going to go take over Pluto." She jumped in her Voot Cruiser, salluted, and was gone.   
  
Skoodge was trying frantically to escape from Courtney's death hug. He managed to pull himself in his Voot Cruiser, and Courtney followed him. You could hear her manaical laughter even as the Voot Cruiser took off.  
  
Gaz, Dib, and Zim were left. And Gir.  
  
"Uh....that was weird." Gaz said quietly. "I'm gonna go."  
  
Dib stared at Zim. "I-I'll go with you."  
  
"C'mon Gir," Zim said.  
  
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSEEEE!"  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
*Epilouge*  
  
"Ah..and dat, is de end of out happy tale. Me? Oh you want to know who I am? I'm Keef. Heh. Zim's my friend. Him and Gaz go out now. They have ... a weird relationship. Dib is still into his craaaaaazy theories. He's ok though. Tak's out at Pluto. Yup. I think....and Skoodge and Courtney are going out. Yep yep yep! Gir got tacos....infact, he also got a pig. Named Pig. Zim actually let him keep him. I think he treats Gir a lot better now. Since...Gir saved the day. Iggins is still a burrito. In fact, he's the new mascot for Crazy Taco." Keef laughed. "Yes, yes, everthing's ok now. ...Well...except for the Tallest."  
  
*Transmission From Zim To Tallest*  
  
"Yes, yes, I saved the humans from getting turned into giant burritos." Zim said arrogantly.  
  
"But Zim...aren't you trying to *destroy* them?" Red said impatiently.  
  
"Yes..well. LUNCHEON MEAT!" Zim yelled.  
  
"I saved the day!" said a voice in the background.  
  
"I like burritos Zim." Purple said sadly.  
  
"Yeah, he likes burritos Zim." Red said.  
  
"INVADER ZIM SIGNING OFF!!" Zim said.  
  
A pause then..."I love this show."  
  
*Fade Transmission*  
  
bTHE ENDb  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤•  
  
Author's Note::  
  
*tear* Thanks everyone for reading my *very* wacky, insane, story. Woo! The sequels coming ya'll! Hold on to your burritos! Bye! *waves*  
  
•¤•¤•¤•¤• 


End file.
